At this very moment, I can honestly say I am aware of how much God loves me. All my life God has spoken to me, but because I did not have His spirit in me, I could not understand what He was saying. The beautiful thing though is because of His grace; He never stopped speaking to me.
The funny thing is, one of my pet peeves is when I’m talking to someone, and they don’t fully understand what I’m saying, no matter how much I break it down. It is even more annoying when they respond, and it doesn’t have anything to do with what I just said. It is as if they completely missed the point. It trips me out because for 26 years to this very moment, I am finally getting to fully comprehend what God has been trying to express to me because His spirit now lives in me.
My Lord is so graceful, merciful, patient, and loving. He never stopped talking to me. He never stopped showing me how much He loves me. He stayed patient with me until I finally got it. This alone just proves me how much He loves me. I can imagine how annoying I was to Him. Even reflecting on it now I’m kind of annoyed with myself! But all jokes aside, I am so grateful that I am finally getting to understand my God and how much He loves me.
I’m in a position right now where I have to love others with absolutely no self-benefit or selfish agenda. And to be honest, without the Lord teaching me how to love and Him being in my life I would not know how to do this. I would have no idea how to be who I am and do what I am doing today. As I get to learn how much He loves me I sit back and reflect on so many things He has done for me. He has loved me in so many ways. Sometimes it overwhelms me, and I come to tears because it just makes me say “wow, my God really loves me.“
Coming to this understanding is such a blessing! It gives me the power to love others the same way He loves me. But without his spirit in me, I would be completely lost. But I thank God because He knew one day it would come to pass. He was patient enough to stand by me until that time happened. I feel like God is singing that song by Beyoncé, ”Love on top.” I feel like finally, after really getting it, I am putting my God’s love on top. I am finally able to value His love and give that love back. I am aware now, I understand now. And I will spend the rest of my life learning every day how much He loves me and I’m excited to do so.
God’s love is so deep and so big, it will take me the rest of my life to understand, and I believe even when I’m in heaven I will learn daily how much He loves me. This is the journey I am truly excited about. Glory be to God!! Because now I am aware!!
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God 1 Corinthians 2:11-12